This has been a crazy week for me! Ups and downs emotionally seem to bring me closer than ever to my Lord. I'm not sure where to start, but I guess I'll just wing it!
The power of prayer is amazing. I had an opportunity to pray over someone this week and it was an experience I don't think I'll ever forget! We laid hands on him and we were praying out loud and after about four people had prayed, I felt that it was time for me to open my mouth. But I really didn't know what to say because the people before me had already said what I wanted to say! But I decided to follow the nudge and open my mouth and I am SO glad that I did. I started to pray and I could just feel the Holy Spirit flow into me; I've never felt anything like it in my whole life. It was as though me and my selfish humanness was completely emptied out of my body and the only thing in me was God, pouring through me. And that is a very lame description of how I felt! Never before have I reached a place with God like that, never before has He made me shake like a leaf, never before have I felt so empty and yet so full. His power is breathtaking!!!
My Jesus seemed so close yesterday that I swear I could feel Him standing next to me. We visited a church and the sermon was about deny ourselves and following Christ. (The sermon was a lot better than my condensed version here ;P) It really spoke to my heart and I could feel that there were things in me that I needed to surrender and give completely and wholly to God because He wants EVERYthing and not just most things. So I got home, cleaned the house, had people over, rode the emotional roller coaster...and didn't take time to sit down and pray. (Which I now realize was a big mistake!) After everyone left, I went upstairs to my room, cried, and talked to my Savior. I just poured it all out and told Him that I surrender everything; everything closest to my heart, everything I haven't wanted Him to change, everything that I've been holding onto for selfish reasons. And the second I gave everything to Him, He filled me with peace. He opened my soul and just poured it in like a waterfall! Oh how refreshing it was; how amazing to feel the peace that surpasses all understanding!
After I'd soaked in the love of my Creator, my dad came upstairs to say goodnight. He came in and gave me one of those hugs that he gives me when I'm sad, one of the really long ones. And as I stood there and hugged him, I suddenly realized something that totally blew my mind. I didn't need his hugs, his love, or even his comfort! My Jesus had filled me up so much with peace and love and He had taken my sorrows away and I have never felt more loved in all my life! (Sorry about this next part Dad O.o) The love my dad had for me right then? I couldn't even feel it. I know he loves me and I cherish his love, but at that moment in time, any other love paled in comparison to God's love. My heart was...in a different world. That's the only way I can describe it!
Now I have this hunger, this burning desire, to go back to those places and meet God. All I want is to be enveloped in Him! I know it's not going to be an easy thing to keep surrendering everything everyday, but my love for my Savior and the love He gives me, makes it all so incredibly worth it.<3 Mik
